Long time the manxome foe he sought
It’s been a while since I’ve really had any soul-searching, coeur-de-coeur revelations which, I think, must be some indication that I’m relaxing! The unexamined life, while not worth living, is rather relaxed – introspection takes a lot of effort. While milling about my microblogosphere, I’m pleased to see that most people are relaxing this summer and for those who aren’t, at least they’re adopting healthy coping strategies.
The other day, after having heard that Archie picked Veronica, I spoke with A about types of love and it brought back memories of PSYC 100. For the uninitiated, here are some of the most interesting facts about love and attraction:
- attraction is primarily based upon three, sometimes four, principles: proximity (anticipation of interaction leads to more positive interactions; mere exposure is enough to stimulate liking), similarity (we like that which is similar to us – our ingroup), mutual liking (we like those who like us) and physical appearance (it’s a biological thing – infants even stare longer at universally attractive people – it’s an instinct!)
- Sternberg’s triadic theory of love includes three components: passion (feelings of romance, sexual attraction), commitment (the decision to remain together), and intimacy (feelings of closeness, bondedness)
- Nonlove has none of these elements
- Liking/friendship is composed of intimacy
- Infatuated love is composed of passion
- Empty love is composed of commitment (think – arranged marriages with no real love between people)
- Romantic love is composed of passion and intimacy
- Companionate love is composed of intimacy and commitment
- Fatuous love is composed of passion and commitment
- Consummate love is composed of all three elements
- oxytocin (the hormone that is upregulated during breastfeeding, thus bonding mother and child) is the hormone of love – it facilitates bonding and attachment with that whom we share the experience
For more on love, you can watch Helen Fisher’s TED talk:
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