silva rerum

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff

Recently, there has been much stress build­ing in my life due to sev­eral factors. I’ve been avoid­ing post­ing any­thing on the blog because I do get a little cross with myself for being an insuf­fer­able com­plainer. Of course, I’ve also read about the cath­artic effects of main­tain­ing a journal – how it alle­vi­ates symp­toms of stress and helps people cope – but that doesn’t stop me from feel­ing guilty for com­plain­ing. Perhaps I have made my bed and now, in it, I must lie?

I sup­pose I might have bit­ten off more than I can chew. Work’s tra­gic­ally stress­ful, as are my other extra­cur­ricular com­mit­ments. If I seem even paler than usual, it might just be the toxic stress get­ting to me. With school start­ing, I just hope I can man­age to strike a bal­ance among everything. I’m not hopeful.

My self-​prescription? A vaca­tion, a real one, the first one in a very long time.

Currently read­ing Beowulf trans­la­tions, spe­cific­ally the Heaney and the Liuzza.

[…]

Soon he found, who in former days,
harm­ful in heart and hated of God,
on many a man such murder wrought,
that the frame of his body failed him now.
For him the keen-​souled kins­man of Hygelac
held in hand; hate­ful alive
was each to other. The out­law dire
took mor­tal hurt; a mighty wound
showed on his shoulder, and sinews cracked,
and the bone-​frame burst. To Beowulf now
the glory was given, and Grendel thence
death-​sick his den in the dark moor sought,
noi­some abode: he knew too well
that here was the last of life, an end
of his days on earth…

I will be briefly skim­ming over the Ecclesiastical History of the English Peoples and La Morte D’Arthur later on. I like Everyman but we’ll see if I get to it – I want to see if I can read some of The Book of Margery Kempe. Hurray for speed-​reading!