silva rerum

if you’re lost, you can look and you will find me

At this, the end of the second week of school, I feel an immense and immeasurable combination of dread and excitement, of hope and cynicism. I worry incessantly about schooling, about my job, about my extracurricular duties. I wonder about what great possibilities could be in store for this year. I am not sure how I ought to feel about the multitude of changes that abound. I cannot control them.

For the first time since entering university, I do feel so terribly old. Every year is a challenge, of course, but this year feels as if it isn’t so intimidating. It feels as if university is an old friend of mine by now, studying is for me, old hat. If that is any indication of how I will perform in my academics this year, I am beholden to my family, my friends and my professors who have seen me up to this point.

Being at Science Frosh was a monumentally humbling experience. I felt as if I were part of something much bigger than I could ever be; hearing the voices of so many first-years peal with cheers until the walls and halls of Hebb reverberated was a magical experience. I will work harder with the Science Undergraduate Society so as to not fail them or myself.

I must sound something like a broken record by now, repeating messages of hopefulness and optimism. I do not mind so much. It emboldens me. Unlikely as it is, I cannot help but feel courageous. I hope that will be enough!