silva rerum

To thy high requiem become a sod

It’s 10:12 right now and the post-Glee euphoria is already beginning to wear off. I don’t know what this bug is but it’s been in my system for at least the past few weeks. It’s like a persistent infection. It feels like this terrible cancer, wrapping its tendrils around my heart and suffocating any good feeling.

I suppose it must happen sometime. That dreaded feeling – the one that makes you want to curl up and shrivel away into nothing. I used to imagine myself impervious to such feelings. Such deep sympathy I felt for those going through this. “I am so sorry for you,” I would say. Now the deafening silence surrounds, encloses, suffocates.

But I have so much for which to be thankful! It has always been my most earnest assertion that I have had the most serendipitous experience with surrounding myself with highly talented, wonderfully helpful people. Even when I feel as if I’m in the most dire of situations, I simply need to ask the right person for the right favour to get by. I’m so lucky that people have inherent goodness.

I hope I can shrug this off. I pride myself on emotional imperturbability. I have to find my centre again somehow.

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