SUS
chō no kage sasu
You know, sometimes I wonder if it might be time to pull the plug on this blog altogether. My updates are intermittent, the good parts are far and in between. Maybe I’m suffering from information overload or burn-out. Probably both. Perhaps I should just opt-out temporarily…which reminds me of this video…
Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village
Really now, that is just too amusing.
Currently working on my term paper for ENGL 304 (you know, that topic deserves a post of its own, come to think of it) while also sorting through the swath that is SUS Finance. Not to mention the job.
*sigh* Finals are about to be upon us. Whither shall I run?
Oh and for those keeping track, I’m thinking of dropping out of Science Co-op. Anyone want to offer their advice?
And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free
With the end of September fast approaching, it’s difficult to retain any semblance of the enthusiasm I originally had at the end of August. This is not surprising (at least not to the initiated university students – bless those first years’ hearts). It’s safe to say school dominates my thinking; I wake up and sleep, thinking about school.
That is not to say that I don’t have other priorities. I like to imagine that I’m reasonably able at my job. All is calm save for some exceptional difficulties through which I’m working. I keep reminding myself to take it one step at a time. My assistant is really a blessing, though I really do worry about how she’s managing to balance time. Is that normal? Do bosses typically worry about the personal lives of their assistants? I hope I’m not overstepping any boundaries.
I thoroughly enjoy my involvement with SUS, though. My budget successfully passed executive committee even though some discussion ensued its presentation. I’m confident in my ability to lead SUS into a sustainable financial future and I hope that my vision comes through. I’m entirely optimistic.
it’s odd. I vacillate between a general malaise and a soaring optimism. It confuses and intrigues me. It feels like I’m waiting, passionately, reverently, for something. Something that I intuitively know is coming, but of which have no conscious knowledge. Fingers crossed.
if you’re lost, you can look and you will find me
At this, the end of the second week of school, I feel an immense and immeasurable combination of dread and excitement, of hope and cynicism. I worry incessantly about schooling, about my job, about my extracurricular duties. I wonder about what great possibilities could be in store for this year. I am not sure how I ought to feel about the multitude of changes that abound. I cannot control them.
For the first time since entering university, I do feel so terribly old. Every year is a challenge, of course, but this year feels as if it isn’t so intimidating. It feels as if university is an old friend of mine by now, studying is for me, old hat. If that is any indication of how I will perform in my academics this year, I am beholden to my family, my friends and my professors who have seen me up to this point.
Being at Science Frosh was a monumentally humbling experience. I felt as if I were part of something much bigger than I could ever be; hearing the voices of so many first-years peal with cheers until the walls and halls of Hebb reverberated was a magical experience. I will work harder with the Science Undergraduate Society so as to not fail them or myself.
I must sound something like a broken record by now, repeating messages of hopefulness and optimism. I do not mind so much. It emboldens me. Unlikely as it is, I cannot help but feel courageous. I hope that will be enough!
She dropped a tear more rare than pearl
I cannot help but feel sheepishly guilty that I’ve neglected to post anything – anything – at all. Having elided details about the first half of September until now, I hope I can write down some of my meditations here.
I feel slightly overwhelmed by my courseload this term, but I’m not surprised in the least. It is just as, if not more, challenging than I had predicted to juggle so many courses. I can’t really say which courses I enjoy the most, but I feel that I have a rather well-rounded group of instructors. If I weren’t so easily intimidated, I would love to meet them personally.
My extracurricular activities have kept me rather busy. I can’t really say that I didn’t expect it, but I’m surprised by the intensity with which they come at me. I worry that calls for my resignation are merely pending; I fear that I hear whispers of my incompetence echo in the hallowed halls. I hope I don’t disappoint.
Work! It’s taken so much of my time, but it’s really rather rewarding if frustrating. I’m currently on the fence about tutoring – I feel as if I don’t have the time but I really enjoy doing it. I’m sure my students can find other tutors but that thought doesn’t assuage my guilt-ridden mind.
At any rate, it’s time to keep my chin up and get set for a very interesting term indeed. I bought a lab coat today so I finally feel as if I’m a real scientist. Huzzah!
Optimism prevails!
- Five of Wands
- Ten of Wands
- Three of Pentacles
- King of Swords
- Eight of Pentacles
- The Hermit
- The Sun
- Seven of Cups
- The High Priestess
- Justice
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff
Recently, there has been much stress building in my life due to several factors. I’ve been avoiding posting anything on the blog because I do get a little cross with myself for being an insufferable complainer. Of course, I’ve also read about the cathartic effects of maintaining a journal – how it alleviates symptoms of stress and helps people cope – but that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty for complaining. Perhaps I have made my bed and now, in it, I must lie?
I suppose I might have bitten off more than I can chew. Work’s tragically stressful, as are my other extracurricular commitments. If I seem even paler than usual, it might just be the toxic stress getting to me. With school starting, I just hope I can manage to strike a balance among everything. I’m not hopeful.
My self-prescription? A vacation, a real one, the first one in a very long time.
Currently reading Beowulf translations, specifically the Heaney and the Liuzza.
[…]
Soon he found, who in former days,
harmful in heart and hated of God,
on many a man such murder wrought,
that the frame of his body failed him now.
For him the keen-souled kinsman of Hygelac
held in hand; hateful alive
was each to other. The outlaw dire
took mortal hurt; a mighty wound
showed on his shoulder, and sinews cracked,
and the bone-frame burst. To Beowulf now
the glory was given, and Grendel thence
death-sick his den in the dark moor sought,
noisome abode: he knew too well
that here was the last of life, an end
of his days on earth…
I will be briefly skimming over the Ecclesiastical History of the English Peoples and La Morte D’Arthur later on. I like Everyman but we’ll see if I get to it – I want to see if I can read some of The Book of Margery Kempe. Hurray for speed-reading!
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