SUS

chō no kage sasu

You know, some­times I won­der if it might be time to pull the plug on this blog alto­gether. My updates are inter­mit­tent, the good parts are far and in between. Maybe I’m suf­fer­ing from inform­a­tion over­load or burn-​out. Probably both. Perhaps I should just opt-​out temporarily…which reminds me of this video…


Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village

Really now, that is just too amusing.

Currently work­ing on my term paper for ENGL 304 (you know, that topic deserves a post of its own, come to think of it) while also sort­ing through the swath that is SUS Finance. Not to men­tion the job.

*sigh* Finals are about to be upon us. Whither shall I run?

Oh and for those keep­ing track, I’m think­ing of drop­ping out of Science Co-​op. Anyone want to offer their advice?

Saturday, November 21st, 2009 BIOL 240, ENGL 304, Minischool, SUS, Technology 3 Comments

And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free

With the end of September fast approach­ing, it’s dif­fi­cult to retain any semb­lance of the enthu­si­asm I ori­gin­ally had at the end of August. This is not sur­pris­ing (at least not to the ini­ti­ated uni­ver­sity stu­dents – bless those first years’ hearts). It’s safe to say school dom­in­ates my think­ing; I wake up and sleep, think­ing about school.

That is not to say that I don’t have other pri­or­it­ies. I like to ima­gine that I’m reas­on­ably able at my job. All is calm save for some excep­tional dif­fi­culties through which I’m work­ing. I keep remind­ing myself to take it one step at a time. My assist­ant is really a bless­ing, though I really do worry about how she’s man­aging to bal­ance time. Is that nor­mal? Do bosses typ­ic­ally worry about the per­sonal lives of their assist­ants? I hope I’m not over­step­ping any boundaries.

I thor­oughly enjoy my involve­ment with SUS, though. My budget suc­cess­fully passed exec­ut­ive com­mit­tee even though some dis­cus­sion ensued its present­a­tion. I’m con­fid­ent in my abil­ity to lead SUS into a sus­tain­able fin­an­cial future and I hope that my vis­ion comes through. I’m entirely optimistic.

it’s odd. I vacil­late between a gen­eral mal­aise and a soar­ing optim­ism. It con­fuses and intrigues me. It feels like I’m wait­ing, pas­sion­ately, rev­er­ently, for some­thing. Something that I intu­it­ively know is com­ing, but of which have no con­scious know­ledge. Fingers crossed.

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Friday, September 25th, 2009 Academics, Meditations, Minischool, SUS 1 Comment

if you’re lost, you can look and you will find me

At this, the end of the second week of school, I feel an immense and immeas­ur­able com­bin­a­tion of dread and excite­ment, of hope and cyn­icism. I worry incess­antly about school­ing, about my job, about my extra­cur­ricular duties. I won­der about what great pos­sib­il­it­ies could be in store for this year. I am not sure how I ought to feel about the mul­ti­tude of changes that abound. I can­not con­trol them.

For the first time since enter­ing uni­ver­sity, I do feel so ter­ribly old. Every year is a chal­lenge, of course, but this year feels as if it isn’t so intim­id­at­ing. It feels as if uni­ver­sity is an old friend of mine by now, study­ing is for me, old hat. If that is any indic­a­tion of how I will per­form in my aca­dem­ics this year, I am beholden to my fam­ily, my friends and my pro­fess­ors who have seen me up to this point.

Being at Science Frosh was a monu­ment­ally hum­bling exper­i­ence. I felt as if I were part of some­thing much big­ger than I could ever be; hear­ing the voices of so many first-​years peal with cheers until the walls and halls of Hebb rever­ber­ated was a magical exper­i­ence. I will work harder with the Science Undergraduate Society so as to not fail them or myself.

I must sound some­thing like a broken record by now, repeat­ing mes­sages of hope­ful­ness and optim­ism. I do not mind so much. It emboldens me. Unlikely as it is, I can­not help but feel cour­ageous. I hope that will be enough!

Friday, September 18th, 2009 Academics, Meditations, SUS 1 Comment

She dropped a tear more rare than pearl

I can­not help but feel sheep­ishly guilty that I’ve neg­lected to post any­thing – any­thing – at all. Having elided details about the first half of September until now, I hope I can write down some of my med­it­a­tions here.

I feel slightly over­whelmed by my course­load this term, but I’m not sur­prised in the least. It is just as, if not more, chal­len­ging than I had pre­dicted to juggle so many courses. I can’t really say which courses I enjoy the most, but I feel that I have a rather well-​rounded group of instruct­ors. If I weren’t so eas­ily intim­id­ated, I would love to meet them personally.

My extra­cur­ricular activ­it­ies have kept me rather busy. I can’t really say that I didn’t expect it, but I’m sur­prised by the intens­ity with which they come at me. I worry that calls for my resig­na­tion are merely pending; I fear that I hear whis­pers of my incom­pet­ence echo in the hal­lowed halls. I hope I don’t disappoint.

Work! It’s taken so much of my time, but it’s really rather reward­ing if frus­trat­ing. I’m cur­rently on the fence about tutor­ing – I feel as if I don’t have the time but I really enjoy doing it. I’m sure my stu­dents can find other tutors but that thought doesn’t assuage my guilt-​ridden mind.

At any rate, it’s time to keep my chin up and get set for a very inter­est­ing term indeed. I bought a lab coat today so I finally feel as if I’m a real sci­ent­ist. Huzzah!

Optimism pre­vails!

  1. Five of Wands
  2. Ten of Wands
  3. Three of Pentacles
  4. King of Swords
  5. Eight of Pentacles
  6. The Hermit
  7. The Sun
  8. Seven of Cups
  9. The High Priestess
  10. Justice
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 Academics, Justin the Tutor, Meditations, Minischool, SUS, Tarot 1 Comment

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff

Recently, there has been much stress build­ing in my life due to sev­eral factors. I’ve been avoid­ing post­ing any­thing on the blog because I do get a little cross with myself for being an insuf­fer­able com­plainer. Of course, I’ve also read about the cath­artic effects of main­tain­ing a journal – how it alle­vi­ates symp­toms of stress and helps people cope – but that doesn’t stop me from feel­ing guilty for com­plain­ing. Perhaps I have made my bed and now, in it, I must lie?

I sup­pose I might have bit­ten off more than I can chew. Work’s tra­gic­ally stress­ful, as are my other extra­cur­ricular com­mit­ments. If I seem even paler than usual, it might just be the toxic stress get­ting to me. With school start­ing, I just hope I can man­age to strike a bal­ance among everything. I’m not hopeful.

My self-​prescription? A vaca­tion, a real one, the first one in a very long time.

Currently read­ing Beowulf trans­la­tions, spe­cific­ally the Heaney and the Liuzza.

[…]

Soon he found, who in former days,
harm­ful in heart and hated of God,
on many a man such murder wrought,
that the frame of his body failed him now.
For him the keen-​souled kins­man of Hygelac
held in hand; hate­ful alive
was each to other. The out­law dire
took mor­tal hurt; a mighty wound
showed on his shoulder, and sinews cracked,
and the bone-​frame burst. To Beowulf now
the glory was given, and Grendel thence
death-​sick his den in the dark moor sought,
noi­some abode: he knew too well
that here was the last of life, an end
of his days on earth…

I will be briefly skim­ming over the Ecclesiastical History of the English Peoples and La Morte D’Arthur later on. I like Everyman but we’ll see if I get to it – I want to see if I can read some of The Book of Margery Kempe. Hurray for speed-​reading!

Sunday, September 6th, 2009 Academics, Co-op, Literature, Meditations, Minischool, SUS 1 Comment